Just as GOTO allows control to go anywhere, a variable allows data to go anywhere. Sometimes our actions are questions not answers. My beliefs I test on my body, on my intuitional consciousness, and when I get a response there, then I accept. One should always try both directions of every problem. Prejudice has caused famous mathematicians to fail to solve famous problems whose solution was opposite to their expectations, even though they had developed all the methods required.
As applied to software: design software as if it were the beautiful paradise you want it to be, then build pieces of the scaffolding back to the status quo. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. If it is perfectly acceptable, it turns into aliveness, alertness, and creativity. It means fear is no longer a dominant factor in what you do and no longer prevents you from taking action to initiate change.
If it is perfectly acceptable, it turns into aliveness, alertness and creativity. Conventional opinion is the ruin of our souls, something borrowed which we mistake as our own. Ignorance is better than this; clutch at madness instead. Always run from what seems to benefit your self: sip the poison and spill the water of life. Revile those who flatter you; lend both interest and principal to the poor. Let security go and be at home amidst dangers. Leave your good name behind and accept disgrace. The struggle of what one likes and what one dislikes is the disease of the mind.
Mysteries never open up for those who go on questioning. Questioners sooner or later end up in a library. Questioners sooner or later end up with scriptures, because scriptures are full of answers. And answers are dangerous, they kill your wonder.
Download or Print
You cannot have it in your fist. If you want to have it, you have to keep your hands open. Find your own light. If you are in a shipwreck and all the boats are gone, a piano top buoyant enough to keep you afloat may come along and make a fortuitous life preserver. This is not to say, though, that the best way to design a life preserver is in the form of a piano top. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong. The perfect way is only difficult for those who pick and choose. Do not like, do not dislike; all will then be clear.
Make a hairbreadth difference, and Heaven and Earth are set apart. If you want the truth to stand clearly before you, never be for or against. Gystso maybe for a post on FP. We tend to fixate on incorrect assumptions, and overlook the obvious, surprisingly frequently.
Since the dog knows nothing of programming, you must justify every statement you make. In the process you will often discover the mistake. I know it sounds weird, but it really does work! How we relate to it creates the future.
What we do accumulates; the future is the result of what we do right now. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered. To live is to be slowly born. The point is that the process is reversible. If one gets rid of these habits one can think more clearly, and to think clearly is a necessary first step toward political regeneration: so that the fight against bad English is not frivolous and is not the exclusive concern of professional [or scholarly] writers.
We are not the only experiment. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.
If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do. It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life. Regularity chauvinists are people who insist that you have got to do the same thing every time, every day, which drives some of us nuts.
Attention Deficit Disorder - we need a more positive term for that. Hummingbird mind, I should think. For example, if I was going to teach arithmetic and I only knew about Roman numerals, you might get the idea that multiplication is extremely difficult. Given the idea of Arabic numerals it becomes a lot easier. If we took Roman numerals, the Romans have no way to express zero. If we have the wrong abstractions, we can make things which are intrinsically rather simple very difficult.
It is both. Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us.
We feel connected. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes.
Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together. It is because we dare not venture that they are difficult. It manifests as inquisitiveness, as adaptability, as humor, as playfulness. But such uncertainty lies at the very heart of human creativity. What if I embraced it? They simply have impotent goals that do not inspire them. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. The answer is surprising but clear. In weakness. Why there? Because in our weakness, our familiar ways of controlling and manipulating our world are being stripped away, and we are forced to let go from doing much, thinking much, and relying on our self-sufficiency. Right there where we are most vulnerable, the peace that is not of this world is mysteriously hidden.
You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. It is not so interesting that every person is seeking pleasure, but it is most interesting to see how everyone is seeking his pain, looking out for it. So it is with the human soul. While the soul goes through pain, torture and trouble it thinks that it would have been much better if it had gone through life without it.
But once it reaches the culmination of it then, when it looks back, it begins to realize why all this was meant: it was only meant to tune the soul to a certain pitch. The immense fulfillment of the friendships between those engaged in furthering the evolution of consciousness has a quality almost impossible to describe.
And it makes it practically impossible to argue about programs independently of their being executed. Sometimes this makes planning the day difficult. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. Brutality is not honest. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. The moment you try to free yourself from fear, you create resistance against fear. Resistance in any form does not end fear. What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it.
We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it, not how to resist it. Only your grievance about the past can do that.
Guide A Guide to Positive Thinking and Having a Good Opinion of Allah
Knowledge is a love affair with answers. Just keep going. No feeling is final. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. You may cheat yourself out of much of life. So aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.
A love where no one sacrifices to another, but grace is evoked through the sharing of deep vulnerability. It is rather the result of unhampered participation in a meaningful setting. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words. Pragmatists suffer it. Some can avoid it. We must acquire serenity in all feelings and sensations about the future. We must look with absolute equanimity to everything that may come and we must think only that whatever comes is given to us by a world direction full of wisdom.
It is part of what we must learn in this age, namely to live out of pure trust without any security in existence, trusting in the ever present help of the spiritual world. Truly nothing else will do if our courage is not to fail. Let us discipline our will and let us seek the awakening from within ourselves every morning and every evening. People need to be given a chance to tune into themselves. Dialogue is a deep process.
For me, this requires some quiet and inner peace — and some time for interaction. When you feel it, you move through to space, resolution and peace. So long as men are not trained to withhold judgment in the absence of evidence, they will be led astray by cocksure prophets, and it is likely that their leaders will be either ignorant fanatics or dishonest charlatans.
To endure uncertainty is difficult, but so are most of the other virtues. The opportunity for simplification is very encouraging, because in all examples that come to mind the simple and elegant systems tend to be easier and faster to design and get right, more efficient in execution, and much more reliable than the more contrived contraptions that have to be debugged into some degree of acceptability….
Simplicity and elegance are unpopular because they require hard work and discipline to achieve and education to be appreciated. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living.
We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian-Darwinian theory, he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living.
Much of the practical work done in computing, both in software and in hardware design, is unsound and clumsy because the people who do it have not any clear understanding of the fundamental design principles of their work. Most of the abstract mathematical and theoretical work is sterile because it has no point of contact with real computing.
One of the central aims of the Programming Research Group as a teaching and research group has been to set up an atmosphere in which this separation cannot happen. Hence, to think creatively, we must be able to look afresh at what we normally take for granted.
- Having Good Thoughts About Allah : by Shaykh ‘Abdur Razzaaq Ibn ‘Abdul Muhsin.
- Real Risk Lives on the Edge of Spectacular!
- Vegetarian Cooking: Stir-Fried Soba Noodles with Vege Crab Sticks, Yellow Split Peas and Zucchini (Vegetarian Cooking - Vege Seafood Book 92).
- Pharmacogenomics of Human Drug Transporters: Clinical Impacts!
- Istikharah: Seeking Allah’s guidance.
- 22 tips for parents on keeping Muslim teens Muslim.
- Related Posts.
The open mode is more relaxed, more receptive, more exploratory, more democratic, more playful and more humorous. The closed mode is the tighter, more rigid, more hierarchical, more tunnel-visioned. Most people, unfortunately spend most of their time in the closed mode. Not that the closed mode cannot be helpful. If you are leaping a ravine, the moment of takeoff is a bad time for considering alternative strategies. In other words, we must return to the open mode, because in that mode we are the most aware, most receptive, most creative, and therefore at our most intelligent.
It is this absorption in what you are doing that frees your unconscious and releases your creative imagination. Rollo May. It is the measels of mankind. Never do anything against conscience — even if the state demands it. There are only—eventually—ethics of processes by which we treat the possibilities of a situation. Because there are always more than two sides. When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence? Where we have stopped dancing, singing, being enchanted by stories, or finding comfort in silence is where we have experience the loss of soul.
Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four universal healing salves. You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter. To live is to be willing to die over and over again. Of course, understanding yourself and your own feelings first is critical to understanding others.
Toxic people are a part of life. Remember to take care of yourself and to believe that you are worthy of having healthy relationships. Seek out support from people you trust, and of course, pray and be patient. Wa iyaa kum! Thank you for your kind comment and May Allah swt reward you for your encouraging words! Assalam alaikum….. N just anhour ago i listen in phone about surah ad duhan then saw this in my fcbk. Wa alaikum as salam Zeenat and JazakAllah khair for your kind comment. I am sorry to hear of your traumatic situation and I will pray for you. Yes it is outstanding article. God bless you brother.
Thank you very much for this article. I am currently dealing with a very difficult neighbour. Dealing with him is quiet exasperating.
Thank you. I Am also living with a night mare neighbor. Thank you for your kind words. I am sorry to hear you are facing a toxic relationship currently. May Allah swt make things easy for you. I understand how you feel about your difficult neighbor. I will make duaa for you. Felt the post on toxic people needed more depth. I am also undergoing difficulties with toxic people but I felt this post was not enough for my doubts. I am looking for a life time already for good accompany but those people do not search for my accompany. Thank you for your comment.
I am sorry to hear of your trouble finding good company. Toxic family members that you have to live with everyday and who demand your presence and attention cannot take you ignoring them easily…They use your avoidance as a means of straining the relationship between you as well. There is a lot to dealing with them but I guess it varies from person to person, relationship to relationship and even from context to context.. I think the best reliance is on Dua and for Allah to soften their hearts towards being positive. Yeah thats true… if u ignore u actually end up crying y u ignored coz that person can make things more difficult for u and use ur children or the chores to get back at u!!!!
May Allah guide us all… ameen. Assalaamu Alaikum Warahmatullaahi Wabarakatuhu! Really very fantastic task especially for the advancement of our religion and humanity at Dawah. May Allah reward you in advance for this kind thirstiest job of the time. Thank you for your advice, and the hadiths mentioned. Not only am I dealing with negative people, but also a female who uses, I believe, black magic to influence people and situations.
Enshal Allah , I am not correct in this belief. Again loved the article and will keep it handy in the near future as a reference. Thank you very much for your kind comment! We should face them with self confidence and be grounded. I agree with you.. Bcz toxic people are having their own conflicts inside. God knows how much disturbed they are by their own toxicity.. Great article! Indeed it is hard to stay away from toxic people especially when they are close family members. Jazakallah khair for the practical advices ans May Allah help us all rid of toxins in our lives.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, thank you for this article. Alhamdullilah, it helped me in understanding my predicament this morning dealing with some people. Thank you again. You make an excellent point—sometimes we can become toxic ourselves!
May Allah swt protect us and help us to spread goodness to others. Masha Allah Tabarakallah. Wa alaikum as salam Hamzah, May Allah swt bless you for your sincere and caring question. I agree that helping others and trying to heal relationships is very important in Islam. What I hope that this article is saying is that toxic relationships do harm us and as Muslims we should care about ourselves as well as others.
Ideally, we could heal all toxic relationships, but sometimes, people refuse to change and sometimes they do. Allah swt knows best. Asalamualiakum Sister ,may Allah reward you for this. In sha Allah. I am using samsung note tb. Great article and some useful comments as well. There are obvious similarities and differences. And thank you for the article link! I liked it a lot! The better of them is the one who gives the greeting of salaam first. You make an excellent point and may Allah swt reward you for your obvious sincerity as a Muslim.
Yes, I too have reflected on this hadith and it does seem to contradict some points in my article. My sincere advice is to understand how badly a toxic person is affecting your life. If you feel that your mental health and even your spiritual health is suffering a lot from this person, then of course Islam does not force us to suffer that much.
So it really is about understanding yourself and protecting your health, while trying to be pleasing to Allah swt. I think this article was great! I only wish I read it earlier in life when I was tested with two toxic people. And when I was able to leave one, I was faced with another. What types of prevent strategies, and how do you come up with them? Lastly, Jzk for the author and anyone else who made t possible for this article to be published. It was much needed! JazakAllah Ibtehal for your kind words and helpful suggestions for the article.
Most toxic situations are complicated and really need some thoughtful problem-solving and coping ideas. JazakAllahuKhair for this helpful article. Quranic Messages always mesmerizes me. Alhumdulillah…I never ever knew that Quran and Hadith had something to say about a topic like this. JazakAllahuKhair for this message. It really benefitted me. Zazak Allahu Khairan. Good advice but hard to read the full article because of icons on Left hand side.
- What is the meaning of Having a good opinion about Allah and being between hope and fear?.
- Search form.
- Paleolithic Diet: Does Eating Caveman-Style Really Work?.
- Some of my favorite quotes!
- “It’s between me and Allah!”: Queer Muslims explain how they reconcile faith with love.
- Year of the Dragon - 2012 Feng Shui & Chinese Astrology.
Could not get rid of them. Thank you for your kind comment. I would be happy to email you the article if that would help. You can send me an email at howtobeahappymuslim outlook. Thank you for your excellent comment! I agree that this article would be better if I included more tips on helping these people. Some toxic people unfortunately will not change, but some do.
Allah knows best. Salaam dear Martha Freeman. I am sorry to hear that you are having to deal with a toxic family member right now. May Allah swt bless you and help you during this hardship. Jazakallah khair! It was excellent mashAllah. I have a toxic person in my life that has been causing me much stress and I feel I am getting sick out of the contact with this person. But I cant seem to find a way to avoid this person in my life because he is my ex-husband and father of my son.
Alhamdulillah nowadays I can keep contact with him in a minimum but still now he is using my son to manipulate the situation. Wa iyaa kum. I am sorry to hear of your struggles with your ex-husband, dear sister. I will certainly make duaa for you and your son. MY corrected version : Oh Allah heal the mother of my son! She has most of the characterestics in your article. Sister this person even stops me from having my son to sleep over with me and having him each weekends in my home and stops me from choosing to do and take my son where i want , she even stopped me from taking my son to the shopping mall to buy him Eid clothes on the day of eid!
Arguing she wants to take some sisters back home.. A lot of toxic behaviors in this article describes her toxic behaviours when we were a couple sister! This women because of her attitude with me mademe depressed and sad because she refused to come bring my son in the country that i used to live in, but i went to a psychologist and made roukia ,learned new quranic verses and prayed a lot before and after ramadan and know im stronger and improved and more positive as i always was in my life ,everybody loves me and knows me in the mosque with the help of Allah and i have more friends than her.
Who is the toxic now?.. All the mosque witnessed her toxic ways,all my family from A to Z witnessed her toxic behaviour the first time she met with them:reason why i wanted to split with her the first place. What you think sister?.. I thank for your article sister as i did ban her from my life like in the article for 9 months before the birth of my son 5 years ago as she made a very bad impression to my whole family and me before i told her to come back to her parents home.. What should i do sister, this person always think bad of me even when i make jokes with her and smile and buy her presents since the day we got married until today even if we are separated?
Wa alaikum as salam Brother, I hear the sadness and disappointment in your email. As you know, you are not alone and many people experience marital heartbreak. May Allah help you and bless you and help all the Muslims. Assalam alaikum. I have some toxic people arround me. They vary in intensity.
The friends i can choose to keep or avoid so i cut off slowly and silently from them so that if they message i reply in two three usual lines but dont go deep into friendly chat. But family and relatives have haq. Subhan Allah. I cannot cut off from very near ones. Easy way is to have my own little things in life to do and be busy with so im very less available to have mental affect of negativity arround me. And i have shamelessly yet bravely spoken on face to so e of them that they cannot just put shit arround me and fill my life with negatjvity and expect me to return positivity….
And believe me most of toxic people have potential for improvement…its just that we must have guts to show them the mirror and stand firm to their ego for few minutes without fighting fire with fire….. Wa alaikum as salam wr wb Nudrat! Thank you very much for your honest and wise comment. It seems that you have some excellent ways to cope with negative people. I agree that we cannot cut off family. I also agree that it is good to tell people how you feel rather than just holding the feelings inside.
Yes there is a hadith that we help oppressors by preventing them from committing their injustices. Great points, mashAllah. Asalamoalakum wa rehmatAllah Great article! I think it can become more beneficial if you can include some example situations in which normal people confront toxic people. For example very common toxic behaviour of in laws with daughter in law or grown up children towards parents or even of a spouse who doubts too much or a mother in law who restrains basic necessities of life to her daughter in law supported by her son…etc.
How one should deal with every different situation can be discussed. Wa alaikum as salam warahmatuallah wabarakatu Zahra! Thank you for your comment! I will consider your idea for future articles in shaa Allah. A more thorough approach , how to deal with such people. What does one do, when it is your MIL, and FIL after 20 years of marriage telling your spouse and children what a horrible individual you are. Such is the toxicity level. Islam says, do not break ties with family. Please provide a positive approach how to deal with constant nagging, put downs, sarcasm, daily drama.
Thank you, Samiya, for your honest comment. I agree that Islam does teach us to keep up family ties. However, Islam does allow divorce for a reason. Islam does allow us to keep a distance with certain family members.
How To Know Whether You’re Trusting God…or Just Being Stupid
Yes, we should look for ways to improve family relations, but Islam does not tell us to destroy our health in the process. If a relationship is negatively affecting your relationship with Allah swt by bringing your health down or other reasons, then I think that your relationship with Allah and to Islam is more important. Jazaki allahu Khairsn katheerah very much needed advises. Wa iyaa kum Umm Manha! Thank you for your true comment and Ameen to your beautiful duaa. All help is from Allah swt.
Thank you so much for teaching us a very good thing which is really important of our daily life. Please Share more about Islam and specially about prophet Muhammad pubh life story. May Almighty Allah grant you and your family in Jannat…. Thank you Syed for your kind words! May Allah grant you and your family Jannat too.
She abused me whole time and you describe her very well like she asked forgiveness and do the same thing. She do lot of emotional blackmail as well. What should i do? Wa iyaa kum, Selina. I am sorry to hear of your toxic relationship and may Allah swt bless you for your patience. Of course, pray to Allah swt about this member while at the same time you must take some actions to protect your inner peace. Perhaps find ways to avoid this person if you can.
Do you really have to call her? I will pray for you. Excellent article! Thank you! I have implemented some recommendations and I feel more peaceful now. I wish to learn how to deal with toxic people sometimes they make me feel bad. I get over it fast but seeing them once a while make me want to hide.
Anyway, it is good to ask Allah Azza Wajal to correct me first. Thank you Riyah for your comment. I love your point that we do need to ask Allah Azza Wajal to correct us first. Asssalam o alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, the article is very well written ma sha Allaah. JazakAllahu khairan for highlighting such part of our tough lives. Sister, I would like to request you i really really appreciate your efforts can you more elaborate the part with deeling toxic relatives? I would like more info on it sister. Wa alaikum As salam warahmatullahi wa barakatuhu dear Amal, wa iyaa kum and thank you for your comment.
Yes I agree that the article did not go into depth about toxic relatives. Many people have commented about the issue of toxic family members. In shaa Allah I will try to write an article soon about this topic. Thank you for your comment, Ebyan. You ask an excellent question. So dealing with parents is a very important subject in Islam. Jazak Allah Khairan. Toxic family, I have dealt for decades. I know it is not right and, being human may Allah forgive me , I did fire back but for them to keep the insults on me and not my family.
Please do pray for us. Wa alaikum as salam wr wb Tears for years, thank you for your comment. I will certainly pray for you. I understand why you felt the need to fire back. Indeed all openings are from Allah swt. He will help you I am sure. May Allah bless you for your patience. Well Atleast after reading your article I believes being positive is one thing but I guess I should be forgiving for their negative acts against me.
InsyaAllah they will be a positive ending on my current situation. JazakAllah khair. Wa alaikum as salam Linda. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree that being positive and forgiving are very important. May Allah swt help you with your business. As a Muslim we should know how to handle them according to Quran and Hadith. This will really made me more confident to deal with them. May Allah protect us and give us strength to face them. Please keep me in your pray. Thanks to Allah. Thank you for your comment, Md.
Yes, I agree we really need to consider the Quranic verses and hadiths when dealing with toxic people. I will keep you in my prayers. Thank you I really needed this today. May Allah reward for sharing this information and for the person for writing this information.
Jazakhallah Khair. Be firm on your decision not to join their company or ventures. Because sometimes they are very persuasive and persistent. I suffered a lot from toxic people… i cried a lot… i tried to keep family ties only for the sake of allah… these toxic relatives dont give me peace even when i am pregnant… always they keep on harrasing and insulting me. I am also a human with all weakness… now i avoid them totally…i fear only allah… why should i fear them….
Assalamm alalikum Thank you so much for your wisdom.. From a toxic. And i believed. All his lies. But i promise. Leave him. And he is trying. To make me feel guilty. For leaving. His side. But i know deep down that he wont marry me. So i leave him for the sake of Allah. And when i start to think of him. Of a good king sweet heart. And i am patient. Wa alaikum as salam wr wb Sister Gloria, thank you for sharing your heart. May Allah bless you for your patience and trust in Him. Jzk may Allah reward you and Increase Your knowledge. May Allah sw also make us among the dwellers of janatul firdows..
My husbands brothers wife is very toxic. I would prefer to stay away from her and avoid any contact with her but would that b wrong? Dear Ac, thank you for your comment. I am sorry to hear that you are facing a toxic relative. Masha Allah…Jazakallah khair.. I love your article. I have faced many toxic people in my life. Once I tried to fix a toxic person, I thought I could so him some good,but in turn I was affected deeply and eventually I stoped talking to him and avoided him.
I was confused many times. Alhumdulillah thanks to Allah I got to read and understand such words. I hope to follow this in my life. JazakAllah khair Fatima for your kind words. Yes, Allah does help us. Assalam o alikum Jzakallah It was great to read this article. Actually these are hidden culprits in our society which needs to be at surface now. Jazaak Allahu khair…. Wa iyaa kum Sabrina. Thank you for your positive words. Sir Jazak Allah Khair. Seems its a great help for me from Allah SWT by U bcoz i was seriously looking for such kind of mater piece in the light of Quran and Hadith and Allah solved my problem.
Thank you, Benevolent Filantropsson for your comment. You make a very true point. If we allow ourselves to be exposed to too many toxic people, we may become toxic people ourselves. May Allah swt protect us and help us, Ameen. Good article, very inspiring. I have dealt with toxic people all my life until the point that it drained me out.
It sucked all the energy and strength out of me that I feel as if I have no strength left. Thank you, Houda for your comment. I totally understand how toxic people have left you feeling drained. Yes, toxic people can even take advantage of our devotion to Islamic etiquette. This is a great point. May Allah swt bless you for your good intentions. Wa alaikum as salam Acfan, Thank you for your comment. My observation reading the comments…so many toxic people around….
Maybe there should be an article to help us recognise signs of toxicity within ourselves …nip the evil in the bud…May Allah help us all.. Thank you Raana for your great comment. I love your idea of how to recognize toxicity in ourselves. I will certainly pray for you and your mother. I am currently dealing with same problem with a family member and I had Ask Allah to guide me the best way to deal with it the situation I am currently in. Your article is actually answer to my worries. Thank you so much! Yes, I am currently having a toxic in my own family. I have a problem with my marriage. But my siblings cannot understand my pressure and stress.
They keep on give me pressure as I have to follow their advice even it is against religion. So they have influence my mom and make my mom to hate me too. Now I become more stressful as supposedly they give me support because my marriage will destroy but with this situation I become disobey to my husband and impolite to my mom…Can you imagine how stressful I am…Only Allah knows how I feel right now. Dear Servant of Allah, I am sorry to hear of the stress you are feeling right now.
May Allah swt reward you for your patience and steadfastness. Family problems are often the most difficult problems in life. I am sure that Allah swt will grant you ease after this hardship, in shaa Allah. Ma Shaa Allah! The article is very useful.
Thank You for sharing. May Allah bless you with the good of this life and the hereafter. Thank you brother for your encouraging words. May Allah bless you too with the best of both worlds. Asalam Alaikum, Jazak Allah Khairan for such a beneficial article. It came across my eyes just when they were in tears. But I would share my personal hurt. I am a non-muslim and wanted to marry a Muslim. It was he who guided me towards Allah swt.
I cant now ever turn back from Allah swt ever. Now after reading Islam I came to know that such relations are forbidden. As I have been demanding for marriage soon, and the same is being delayed from the other side, not refused, but delayed, so much delayed that it took 7 years of my life demanding for marriage, causing so much stress to me and my family. Still it is not being refused but being delayed from his family because of some vague reasons of theirs, just delayed and delayed.
It has made me so much frustrated that finally I decided not to respond back ever and to give up. Today morning I saw your article. I am so much in pain and confused. Your article gave me motivation. Allah swt bless you. I am always praying to Allah swt and always try to be patient.
But some people ruin our lives so much. Jazak Allah Khair for such a helpful write up. Wa alaikum as salam my dear Sis. Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your story. I am sorry to hear of your pain and struggle. May Allah swt bring you closer to Him because of your patience and prayers. You are always welcome to email me and we can stay in touch by email : howtobeahappymuslim outlook. Jazak Allah khairan for this beutiful article yeah toxic people are stress may Allah protwct us and reward you for this article. Aameen Shiekh salam sumer do you have facebook if yes what is it. May Allah swt reward billal phillips and grant you both jannah for this article and the beutiful IOU.
Wa iyaa kum Faisal. JazakAllah khair for your kind words. Actually I am not a sheikh; I am simply a Muslim sister with a degree in counseling who hopes to benefit her ummah in some way. Really very meaningful and upto the point article related to the subject. This is really a need of the hour because dealing with this kind of people is became a head ache for me and it is effecting my health as well. After reading your article and the knowing the versus of Quran, it change my mindset.
Wa alaikum as salam warahmatuallhi wabarakatuhu Br. Mohammed, Thank you so much for your encouraging and kind words. May Allah reward you in both worlds too. Salam , Masha Allah valuable advice. May allah swt increase our knowledge in everything. Currently I am going through toxic family members.
Allah swt says and prophet mohammed saw taught us increase our bond with family members. May Allah swt give us patience in every breath Ameen ya rab. Jazakulkhair for your wonderful article. May Allah swt increase your knowledge ameen ya rab…. Dear Inshaf, Thank you so much for your kind and wise words and duas.
May Allah swt continue to bless you. Wa iyaa kum Br. Thank you for your kind words and beautiful duas. May Allah reward you abundantly too. When in case of Toxic spouse 1. So if the worldly objectives were reason then one needs to be more patient and talk out the changes than needs to be done. If the personality of spouse if an issue then Dua and patience is both needed in abundance but it is in some way important to inform subtly or directly to a change needed in the behaviour.
Wa alaikum as salam, EM. Loved the article.. JazakAllah for your kind words, Asma. JazakAllah Khair a very good read and easy to understand article. May Alah protect us all from Toxic people ameen. May Allah fulfil our righteous prayers and guide us through our difficult times Ameen. Wa iyaa kum, Sadia. Please feel free to email me at howtobeahappymuslim outlook. Awsome article! I can add the azkar of day and evening as they R known to prevent from the evil of human and jins as in reciting sourah Alnas. This is a beautiful article…It gives me an insight on how to deal with people of such behaviours in accordance to Islam.
Jazakala Khair. The article deals with issues relevant to every day interactions and support constructs from our Quran. I have shared it with my daughter who I am sure will benefit greatly. JazakAllah for your very kind words, Denise. May Allah continue to bless you and your family. This article has made me realise that am anot the only person who has been facing toxic and hasid people whole of my life..
Only Allah knows why but i have been a victim of hasid people.. Everywhre i go including school people become negative to me naturally from that moment they see me. Many times the Evil eye and whisper of thse toxic people has affected me and nowadays i read the three qusl and ayatul qusr hopping for protection against em whenever i leave the house to deal with worldly matters. InshaAllah now i have copping strategies i am gna implement and endure more prayers and patiency and avoid em as mucj as i can insha Allah. Wa alaikum as salam Mohamed, Thank you for your encouraging words.
I am sorry to hear of your difficulties with toxic people. May Allah swt bless you for your trust in Him. Brilliant article…. I will certainly apply it as we deal with toxic people on a daily basis. I am in situation like this with my toxic spouse. I maintain patience with him from the time i realised this is the best way. He repeats. He wins. Is there any end to this? Jazak Allah khayr for your kind words and helpful suggestions. I think more preventive strategies on toxic spouse would be helpful. Wa alaikum as salam, Rehana.